A History Lesson: Guess Who Wins?

In the last few weeks of HHS influenced dead-horse beating and extended discussions on Women’s Health™, I consistently find myself coming back to the idea that President Obama and his administration really think they can take on the Catholics and win.

They are obviously trying to win at all costs.

After all, at Notre Dame the President of the United States LIED about respecting conscience.  Then he LIED about accommodating us Catholics (last time I had an accommodation like that was when I had my prostate checked).

"Now just try to relax...you might feel some discomfort."

The Church has a pretty good track record of outlasting other empires.  So, I thought it would be particularly helpful to review some of the different powerful groups that the Church has bested.

Way back in 476 A.D., the Roman Empire bit the dust.

Although he looks impressive, where are his successors?

Romulus Augustus lost control and had to run away, but the Church was still going strong under Pope St. Simplicius.

No one really know much about him, except that he won.

The Mayan Empire lasted somewhere around 3,540 years.  They were powerful and strong.

Until the Catholics showed up.

Nobody even knows this guy's name.

In 1540, the Mayan Empire ended but the successor of Peter, Pope Paul III, was still going strong.

He also had 4 kids, proving that even a sinful pope can outlast a plain-old political empire.

100 years ago, the last Chinese Emperor, Alsin-Gioro Puyi, was overthrown and that was the end of the Chinese Empire.

In retrospect, the commie shirt was a probably a bad fashion choice.

But the Church kept on rocking under the leadership of Pope St. Pius X.

He always looked tough. I bet he could beat you up.

The Ottoman Empire was one of those go-to answers I always used in high school.

“Who won the battle of blah-blah-blah? – The Ottoman Empire”

It was also a good one to just drop into an essay to show that you really knew world history.  Plus you could also try and sneak in a furniture joke or drop a Dick Van Dyke reference.

Unfortunately for the Ottomans, their empire went bye-bye in 1922 under Sultan Mehmed VI.

Sorry, Sultan. Pack your knives and go.

Meanwhile, the line of Fishermen was still going strong under Pope Pius XI.

I’m sensing a trend here and though I’ve probably made my point, I’m having too much fun.

"The Chair? Oh, we've had that for years. Do you like it?"

Remember the Nazis?  They were pretty big back-in-the-day.  Hitler’s Third Reich seemed to be everywhere.

But of course it didn’t last.  They were done in 1945.

The man who forever changed the history of facial hair. Not even Michael Jordan could make the "toothbrush" mustache cool again.

But the Catholics?

Oh yeah, they were still going strong with Venerable Pope Pius XII.

The Catholic Church invented bling.

The Soviet Union was pretty big in its day.  They had a pretty intense run from 1917, but then hit a brick wall in 1991 when they were officially dissolved under Mikhail Gorbachev.

"Ok, fine. I quit. Catholics win."

Of course, who can blame them when you’re up against this guy:

Defeated Communism in his spare time.

Okay, so that’s probably enough examples.

But just so you know, Wikipedia says that 145 “empires” have gone out of existence in the time since the Catholic Church was founded.  So, we’ve seen a lot of power build up and fade away.

Someone once told me that the reason the political left cannot stand the Catholic Church is that they simply cannot fathom how on earth we still exist.  We were supposed to have collapsed decades ago.

To them, our continued existence is beyond belief.  How does this tired, stupid, outdated myth continue to persist and even grow?  It makes no sense.

So when President Obama and his minions try to take on the Church, I say:

We will outlast you.  We will crush you.  And if you try to oppress us, you will just increase our numbers.  You cannot destroy us.  We will still be here long after you and your government have perished from this earth.

So bring it, Mr. President.

We eat guys like you for breakfast.

I know who wins.

Pope #265

Patrick Thornton has a real job (sort of).  He is likely now on some type of homeland security watch list and may not be able to travel internationally.  This is fine because he wasn’t really planning on going anywhere anyway.  If you’re reading this, feel free to wave to the FBI through your webcam.  The views expressed here may or may not be his own.  It depends who’s asking.


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60 thoughts on “A History Lesson: Guess Who Wins?

  1. Dan says:

    Looking from outside the US I see that you need more than prayers to defeat Obama, you need serious strategic planning & execution to stand a chance against Obama and his fake catholics. Strategic planning must encompass attacking Obama on many fronts not just religious liberty and supporting his rival.

  2. frojo says:

    Mayan Empire? What Mayan Empire? There was no Mayan Empire by the time the Spanish arrived. The Empire was long gone – the people and the culture were still there but the Spanish faced the Aztec Empire, not the Mayan Empire.

    Other than that though, pretty accurate commentary!

  3. mannyj56 says:

    Mr. Thornton,

    Your last paragraph:

    “We will outlast you. We will crush you. And if you try to oppress us, you will just increase our numbers. You cannot destroy us. We will still be here long after you and your government have perished from this earth.”

    sent a chill through me. It reminds me so much of the emphasis that American Protestant Evangelicals give to the Old Testament’s version of a violent, vengeful and petty God; the Old Covenant, over that of Christ’s New Testament. I have always found that ironic and sad.

    Do you really have such a triumphalist view of the world? I am asking with an open heart, I am not picking a fight I truly want to know if you have that view.

    It seems to me that there is such an emphasis on the strict “letter of the law”, The Magisterium,over all other considerations that to me, and I can only speak for me that Christ’s Love is in someways not at the forefront when I read these articles.

    They make me fill at times, cold, numb with what I see as, again in my opinion a lack of Christ’s Love, that above all, the “Law” is paramount just for the sake of the Law. I almost despair, but, in those moments I pray the Prayer of St. Francis and I am reminded of His love, grace and mercy.

    Thank you for letting me post this.

    Manny Acosta

    1. Patrick Thornton says:

      My point in those lines was simple: The Church will continue to exist beyond the feeble governments of man. We have outlasted 145 “empires.” And historically when you persecute Christians by killing them or imprisoning them it causes MORE people to become Christian. It’s not a triumphalist view of world, it’s a triumphalist view of Christ. Christ conquers all certainly with love, but he conquers nonetheless.

    2. Joel says:

      “…reminds me so much of the emphasis that American Protestant Evangelicals give to the Old Testament’s version of a violent, vengeful and petty God; the Old Covenant, over that of Christ’s New Testament.”

      I have no doubt that your heart is in the right place and your comments are appreciated as we all need to check ourselves constantly to see if our actions exhibit the love we claim to bear in our hearts. Your response certainly does effect that end.
      I am sorry that you are disturbed by the closing of this article. What worries me more is that you seem to be sliding along the edge of heresy of Marcion who believed and taught that the God of the Old and New Testaments were different.

      Know that the same God who caused these praises to be recorded in the Old Testament:

      Then Moses and the people of Israel sang this song to the LORD, saying,
      “I will sing to the LORD, for he has triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider he has thrown into the sea.
      The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him,
      my father’s God, and I will exalt him. The LORD is a man of war; the LORD is his name. (Ex 15:1-3)

      Also caused these words to be recorded in the new:

      But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumph, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.. (2 Corinthians 2:14)

      Consider also the following:
      God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should repent. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfil it? (Numbers 23:19)

      Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever (Hebrews 13:8)

      Every good endowment and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17)

      The love that we bear to all, the desire we have for the salvation of souls, is not at odds with the war we wage – indeed it is the inspiration for our battles and it is is the source of our strength in the same.

      In the end, God will finalize his triumph and we who are is own – like Miriam and Israelites before us will rightfully rejoice.

      I am not sure if this will help or not – I hope it does – in any case, you are in my prayers.


  4. AnneG says:

    1Peter 1:16 and CCC 2286 refer to exactly this issue. We have responsibilities and not to the Democratic Party.
    Please read “faithful dem”.
    Great history lesson, Patrick.

  5. Sue in soCal says:

    Love the article. Oh, the cheekiness of it all! Love the sign off. Waving to FBI!

    1. TLR says:

      Very well done. Now what? When do we see more priests like Fr. Sammie Maletta speak openly and honestly (his homily on YouTube is a must-view). When do we realize that our government is on the offensive to establish a secular society based on amorality,self-gratification and entitlement? Bishop Daniel Jenky(Peoria) sees this with great clarity. His directive to include the Prayer to Saint Michael at all masses is most prudent and appropriate. This has become a war. It is a time for prayer (including one seeking the intercession of a sword-bearing archangel). It is a time for Americans to stop and think about the meaning and value of freedom and liberty in their lives. It is time to pray for the courage of John Paul II when he addressed the Polish people with four simple words: “Do not be afraid”. Don’t stop writing to us,Patrick Thornton. I think you’ve been sent to us by that archangel.

  6. […] A History Lesson: Guess Who Wins? – Patrick Thornton, Catholic Vote […]

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