Category Archives: Humor

Gay Pizza Update: Illinois Sues Indiana For “Inappropriate Touching”

  Responding to a nationwide call to punish the state of Indiana for its recent attempt to protect religious freedom, the neighboring state of Illinois has sued Indiana in federal court for assault and battery. In a press conference this morning, Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan explained that the lawsuit seeks both monetary and injunctive [...]

CatholicVote Exclusive: Supreme Court to Overturn All 50 State Constitutions

WASHINGTON, April 1 — In an unprecedented surprise announcement breaching longstanding protocols of secrecy, a source close to Justice Kennedy revealed to CatholicVote that Obergefell v. Hodges will be decided by a unanimous 5-0 margin with four abstentions. The source told your humble columnist that in the opinion for the Court, Kennedy will speak passionately [...]

Words Only Hardcore Catholics Understand (With Translations)

I started thinking about this when we told friends one Friday in Lent, “We’re going to stations, then we’re going to have a lame, late dinner.” Of course we meant: “We’re attending our parish Stations of the Cross, which is of course scheduled around dinner time, and then we’re going to eat fish sticks with [...]

St. Patrick’s Snow: In Solidarity With the Northeast Brethren

  It snowed again Sunday in Boston and while it’s warm today, the weatherpersons are threatening snow in the District of Colombia Thursday and Friday. I’m usually a snow lover, but I admit to being a little Winter-weary.  I’m not sorry, however, to have an excuse to reprise a little ditty I composed last year, [...]

A Brave New World

Justice Kennedy and Ted Olson take a jurisprudential magic carpet ride: (Olson) You can rewrite the law Same-sex marriage and thruples! Tell me, Justice, now when did You last let your heart decide? You can rule by fiat Voiding state consitutions Emanations and umbras Of due process rights. A brave new world! A new fashionable [...]

His Theme Was Freedom : Enduring Lessons from the Late Stan Evans

M. Stanton Evans, one of a handful of key figures who shaped the modern Conservative movement, and a tireless champion of religious liberty, passed away in the early morning hours of March 3, from pancreatic cancer. His contributions to American politics are well-captured in his New York Times obituary and in several lovely reflections from [...]

You Won’t Believe Pharrell’s New “Happy” Lyrics Against Global Warming

Pharrell Williams (“Happy”) journeyed to the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland last week to preach against global warming. He flew there in his private jet. 1700 of his rich friends (like Al Gore) also came on their private jets. While coverage of Pharrell’s anti-fossil-fuel speech was widespread, most of the media missed his remix performance [...]

The Monks and the Airline — United, in Charity (Video)

From The New York Times comes this tale of a monk traveling abroad, a confused and clueless United, and the monk’s brothers back home, struggling to remain in the charity of Christ in the face of the one of the evils that plague modern mankind — dealing with an airline’s customer-service department. Pray for all travelers, [...]

Catholic Church Fails to Behead A Single Person in 2014

  For the most intolerant and extreme religion in the world, this is a rather embarrassing statistic. It appears that the Catholic Church, widely recognized as the most uncompromising and dogmatic among the world’s major religions, is about to close out the year without executing a single person. As everyone knows, the Catholic Church is [...]

24 Reasons You Should Stop Hating Fruitcake

  Why do you hate fruitcake?  Why?  You need to really be honest with yourself.  If you are honest with yourself, you will realize that you should not hate fruitcake. You should love it. Besides being more dense, festive, and delicious than any earthly concoction has a right to be, fruitcake is great for so [...]


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