Category Archives: Humor

40 Things You Should Give Up for Lent

  These are just suggestions.  Don’t give up all forty things on this list.  Just pick one or two.  Or none. Oh yeah, and there are a few that you should probably just give up forever.   1. Sweets.  And if you aren’t a “sweets person,” you aren’t a “human being with a soul.”   [...]

Ten Signs Your Confession May Have Been Invalid

Sacramentally speaking, there are a few things that would make a confession invalid: The penitent must examine his or her conscience, truly repent, confess all mortal sins and do the penance he or she gets assigned. The priest has to say the words of absolution. But my friend Nick Christie thought of a few gray [...]

Fact: Ugly People Don’t Go to Heaven

  If you are Catholic and you have kids, then you have the little picture books of saints. You know the ones I’m talking about.  The thin little paperbacks where each page is devoted to a particular saint, with a colorful illustration and a brief story about the saint’s life. These:         [...]

Memo to the Vatican: Save the Doves!

As if we needed any more proof that it’s time to end the silly practice of releasing doves as a symbol of promoting peace, two more poor birds were subjected to a violent assault this weekend in St. Peter’s Square. The event terrified and needlessly traumatized thousands of innocent children who witnessed it take place. [...]

PPOTD: Call for Captions!

This photo taken by Paul Haring of CNS is just begging for funny captions: You know the drill — submit your funny caption in the comments below and then rate the captions left by other papists! Today is also the six month anniversary of my accident. You can read about my exciting rehab progress and [...]

I Have No Idea What The Pope Is Talking About, And Neither Do You

  In this photograph, I mean.   After all, not knowing what the person is actually saying is what makes a caption contest fun, right? Besides, if there’s anything we’ve learned in the past year, it’s that having no clue what Pope Francis is saying  should never be a hindrance to putting words in his [...]

The Dog With Nine Lives

It has always been said that dogs go to heaven But sadly for cats there is no dispensation. We must recognize then there is a solution Which upholds dignity for kitten attraction. Don’t think this is an idle game or just mere levity. It’s a serious question of feline equality!   If we simply could [...]

31 Things You Thought About During Sunday Mass But Won’t Admit

  1.  Got to church on time…all settled in the pew before the opening hymn starts…kids all fully clothed and sitting still…can I get a plenary indulgence or something?     2.  Oh good, I secretly love this song.     3.  Okay, whose here?  There are the Growskis…there are the Taylors…l00ks like the Kellys [...]

Five Disappointing Things About Advent

Advent must have been something great back in the day. The sober, quiet calm before the storm of Christmas cheer. A time to hole up and gather energy for the Christmas feast. It is not so anymore. 1. The music is disappointing. Imagine if, on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday and all the days between, [...]


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