CV Exclusive: Pope Francis to Modernize Church!

VATICAN CITY, April 1–A correspondent for Catholic Vote has just learned from a prominent cardinal in the Roman Curia that Pope Francis is scheduled to make a major announcement tonight regarding his forthcoming papal encyclical, Risibile Dominum, which will have profound impacts on the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Screen shot 2013-04-01 at 3.20.27 PMIncluded in the document is a complete reversal of the Church’s teaching on the ordination of women to the priesthood and even to the apostolic succession. In a deeply personal decision, Pope Francis will also reveal to the world that he plans to officiate the first gay wedding later this month.

When asked about these far reaching changes to long-held Church doctrine, the Vatican official who spoke with Catholic Vote on condition of strict anonymity in order not to pre-empt the Pope’s announcement said, “Pope Francis was elected with a mandate to bring the Church into the modern era, so these developments are only the beginning.”

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Categories:Humor

12 thoughts on “CV Exclusive: Pope Francis to Modernize Church!

  1. Sean says:

    I get it. It is funny. I don’t get Beth Olmo’s objection. Do you mean it’s important for some the the Church start ordaining women, for example, or that it’s important to some people that the Church continue not to do so? Either way, why would it be off limits for April Fools’ Day? Also, does anyone know where that apostrophe should really go?

  2. ML says:

    I don’t get this. The pope can’t do what would go against God and nature. If this is supposed to be a joke it isn’t funny.

  3. Polly says:

    Wow! I was worried there for a minute!

  4. Beth Olmo says:

    It’s really too bad that you chose to make fun of things that are so important to so many people. Not funny.

    1. Lou says:

      Is this a joke?

  5. michele says:

    Happy April Fools’ Day, Josh!

  6. Antonio A. Badilla says:

    As Queen Victoria once said, “I am not amused!”

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