Five Arguments for Gay Marriage

Emboldened and energized by Justice Anthony Kennedy’s scathing and intellectually dishonest ad hominem attacks in his ruling overturning the Defense of Marriage Act at the federal level, advocates of same-sex marriage are campaigning to put the definition of marriage up to a vote in Ohio and there are also efforts under way in Hawaii, Illinois, New Jersey, Oregon, and Pennsylvania both at the ballot and in the courts. In the last example, the State Attorney General has unilaterally announced she will not uphold the state constitution. This is a serious issue which raises difficult questions, so instead of flinging insults, let’s have an honest debate. To wit, here are some reasons we should support same-sex marriage:

1. Gay Marriage is Going to Win, So Get Over It

Only Doc Brown and Marty McFly Know What the Future Will Be

Only Doc Brown and Marty McFly Know What the Future Will Be

This is called the bandwagon fallacy, or the argumentum ad populum. In any difference of opinion, both sides believe in the certainty of their cause. For example, in sports, both teams think they are going to win or they wouldn’t bother playing the game. In history, opposing armies may win and lose many battles but there are examples of wars that have gone on for decades or even centuries. Every great empire thinks it will last forever, but they never do. Unless you own a Delorean with a flux capacitor, leave your convictions about the “right side of history” to future historians.

2. Gay Marriage Doesn’t Hurt Heterosexuals

Traditional practicing Catholic families are free to have children and raise them according to Church teaching. What’s so bad about same-sex marriage, right? However, this is a dodge of the larger implications of redefining marriage. Heterosexuals have already seen great injury to families and children from welfare dependency and no-fault divorce over the past century. Same-sex couples have not been around nearly that long, so we won’t know the full impacts of redefining marriage will be for decades. In line with the first point, the only sure thing in history is that it is full of unpleasant surprises and unintended consequences. Ignoring this fundamental truth invites only misery and suffering. We disturb long established precedents at our peril.

3. If We Accept Gay Marriage, Peace and Love Will Reign

Polyamory: There's a Flag for That Too

Polyamory: There’s a Flag for That Too

Advocates of same-sex marriage have not managed to come up with a rigorous limiting principle of what they think the essential character of marriage should be. Even though the same-sex marriage battle is far from over, some proponents are already talking about polygamy. What is the next battle after that? Will bisexuals claim that limiting marriage to only two people is unfair because it makes them choose which partner will get the benefits of legal recognition? In the absence of any limiting principle, same-sex marriage advocates respond to innovations like polygamy and polyamory either with outright excitement or else with the defense, “No way, that’s gross!” People used to say the same thing about same-sex couples. Before we redefine marriage, let’s decide what the new definition is actually going to be first.

4. Marriage Is About Love and Commitment

See point two. Marriage is already in rough shape. “Until death do us part,” now has an escape clause, “or one of us decides to hire a lawyer.” The corollary of this argument is that heterosexuals have no right to lecture homosexuals about marriage because so many marriages already end in failure. However, this is a great example of the tu quoque fallacy, because as it happens, same-sex couples are much more likely to have affairs than heterosexuals. See point three, again, what is marriage supposed to be if not an exclusive partnership? It would be great if our laws recognized marriage as a lifetime commitment, but they do not. Redefining marriage to make the institution even weaker is not going to help.

5. Couples that Don’t Have Children Still Get Married

Human Life is Not a Science Experiment

Human Life is Not a Science Experiment

More families than ever are missing a mother or a father. Others, often through no fault of their own, are childless. Some couples who are unable to conceive choose to adopt. Others may dedicate their lives to helping others. Unfortunately, because procreation has become detached from marriage in our culture, there are also couples who wait to have children until it is almost impossible to do so. They then go to incredible efforts to conceive a child through in-vitro fertilization and other techniques which results in the commoditization of life. Instead of bringing life into the world, this leads to the destruction of life at its most delicate and vulnerable. There is already talk in California of making this unethical and immoral practice an entitlement for same-sex couples who are obviously unable to beget children in the usual way. Procreation needs the boundaries of marriage just as much as marriage needs the boundary of procreation. The two are inextricably linked.

The arguments for same-sex marriage sound easy and simple, but they hide difficult and disturbing questions. Heterosexuals have been grappling with marriage for thousands of years and it’s still not easy. It takes a lot of work, a lot of patience, and a lot of sacrifices. It’s impossible to discuss marriage honestly without acknowledging that there are no easy answers and nothing is straightforward. Indeed, this timeless truth reveals the greatest error of the same-sex marriage cause: there can be no such thing as marriage equality because there is no equality in marriage.

Opposites Attract

Opposites Attract

Men and women have different strengths and weakness, different abilities, different fears and different needs. By combining these complementary forces, marriage makes the couple stronger than they would otherwise be on their own. Homosexual couples on the other hand will inevitably have many of the same strengths and weaknesses in common. Instead of making them stronger together, the redefinition of marriage will only amplify their weaknesses, just as it reveals the weakness of the logic behind their arguments. Redefining marriage is fundamentally about eliminating the wonderful and beautiful distinctions between men and women–and especially the greatest difference of all: the ability to perpetuate the human race, and not only through procreation, but in every respect as parents and members of society at large. Pace the old feminist saw about fish and bicycles, men need women and women need men.

This is really what is at stake. Marriage is an essential force in our society because it makes you become a better person. This is only possible because of the encounter between the opposite sexes which reveals how little we know about the human condition and how much we have to trust what we cannot experience and cannot ever know in order to truly love another person. Redefining marriage as a genderless institution robs it of the very essence that makes it worthwhile in the first place. Even if same-sex marriage advocates get their way, little good will it do them.


Categories:Culture Marriage Politics

  • Jake Street

    ‘Will bisexuals claim that limiting marriage to only two people is unfair because it makes them choose which partner will get the benefits of legal recognition?’
    Most bisexuals are not poly-amorous. This statement is evidence on your ignorance of the topic. Just because someone is attracted to both males and females does not mean they have partners of both genders at any one time.

  • dora

    i don’t think so no no

    • danielle

      people you should be able to have kids with someone you love

  • Proslong

    A man should be able to marry 6 women by the same logic. He loves them and is committed to the marriage. What kind of equality only allows gays.

  • Barneyyyy

    I support same sex marriage. Its just that religious people talk about morality and god. My point is what is morality? Is it moral to judge someone who happen to be gay? Is it? The bible says : Love one another as I love you. Why don’t people accept that the society is changing? Why do they have to point fingers for who is moral and not? Why do you think god will think gays are immoral? Isn’t God is someone who you can turn to? Do you people think that God do not really forgive those Gays who done nothing but to try to catch their happiness? I salute the LGBT community for they’re brave enough to chase their dreams and Happiness while facing the judgmental world we currently have. By the way Im not Atheist, Im just open minded about everything. #RESPECT

    • Rob

      Morality has nothing to do with religion. Take a look at all the religions around the world. Most of them have the same principles as one another, coincidence? I think not. Even if you do not believe in religion, these beliefs had to have come from someone. This indicates that these rights and wrongs are inherent within our species.

  • Nobody you know.

    There’s nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian. You can’t control it, it just happens. Everyone has a different opinion but that doesn’t mean you have a right to disrespect them just because they are attracted to the same sex. Yes, god may not allow homosexuals into his kingdom but he does love them all. The fact that so many people are cruel to homosexuals is just awful. They are just like you. Human. They just like their own gender. There’s no need for rude comments against homosexuals. It’s not effecting your lives so let them be.

    Fully support<3
    Thankful that you guys have the guts to stand up to these haters:)

  • binos

    He who created them made them male and female. it wont hurt to keep it that way. immagine what will happen if all become gays. that will be the end of the human race. I would say we do not need to throw insults at gays, but we hve to do something to help. Thanks Mendez, unkind words have been posted against you but you have always replied with kindness. hope the gays or their advocates have learn something

    • Breanna smelley

      Imagine if you were gay and were in love, and someone told you, “You can not love this person.” How would you feel? You would probably be mad. If gay marriage becomes illegal, then people are going to try to do something about it; which could potentially lead to world war 3.

    • Just for thoughts…

      Hi. :)
      In response to your point. I am a Christian as well and believe in God, yet one thing that strikes me odd is that before the part where He made male and female, Genesis also said that God made them in His own image. So what does this mean? To be honest, I believe that the main message that Jesus came to the earth to bring was for us love one another, for he died for ALL of us. There does not seem to be any fine print that says *except for same gender couples*, please feel free to notify me if there is.
      As well as that, if you say that because same sex couples should not be legalized due to the fact they are unable to reproduce (the human race will become extinct …), then should infertile couples be allowed to be together? (by the way, being gay is not a choice {what people who are have said})
      One last question, please enlighten me to what you hoped that ‘gays or their advocates’ have learnt? The only reason I happened to find this website was to research for an assignment.

      Anyways, have a nice day (I kinda get what you are trying to say)
      God Bless

    • Sarah

      There has always been a distinct percentage of the human population that doesn’t follow heterosexuality. That percentage has neither fallen nor risen over the past centuries – just look at Ancient Greece, where homosexuality was almost promoted. In their thinking, it was a manly thing. After all, what is more masculine than a man and another man?
      My point is that just because the LGBT+ community is more outspoken nowadays, doesn’t mean there are more gay people. It’s the same, and there is no way that it is the end of the human race. It sort of sounds like you’re picking at straws.



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