Five Arguments for Gay Marriage

Emboldened and energized by Justice Anthony Kennedy’s scathing and intellectually dishonest ad hominem attacks in his ruling overturning the Defense of Marriage Act at the federal level, advocates of same-sex marriage are campaigning to put the definition of marriage up to a vote in Ohio and there are also efforts under way in Hawaii, Illinois, New Jersey, Oregon, and Pennsylvania both at the ballot and in the courts. In the last example, the State Attorney General has unilaterally announced she will not uphold the state constitution. This is a serious issue which raises difficult questions, so instead of flinging insults, let’s have an honest debate. To wit, here are some reasons we should support same-sex marriage:

1. Gay Marriage is Going to Win, So Get Over It

Only Doc Brown and Marty McFly Know What the Future Will Be

Only Doc Brown and Marty McFly Know What the Future Will Be

This is called the bandwagon fallacy, or the argumentum ad populum. In any difference of opinion, both sides believe in the certainty of their cause. For example, in sports, both teams think they are going to win or they wouldn’t bother playing the game. In history, opposing armies may win and lose many battles but there are examples of wars that have gone on for decades or even centuries. Every great empire thinks it will last forever, but they never do. Unless you own a Delorean with a flux capacitor, leave your convictions about the “right side of history” to future historians.

2. Gay Marriage Doesn’t Hurt Heterosexuals

Traditional practicing Catholic families are free to have children and raise them according to Church teaching. What’s so bad about same-sex marriage, right? However, this is a dodge of the larger implications of redefining marriage. Heterosexuals have already seen great injury to families and children from welfare dependency and no-fault divorce over the past century. Same-sex couples have not been around nearly that long, so we won’t know the full impacts of redefining marriage will be for decades. In line with the first point, the only sure thing in history is that it is full of unpleasant surprises and unintended consequences. Ignoring this fundamental truth invites only misery and suffering. We disturb long established precedents at our peril.

3. If We Accept Gay Marriage, Peace and Love Will Reign

Polyamory: There's a Flag for That Too

Polyamory: There’s a Flag for That Too

Advocates of same-sex marriage have not managed to come up with a rigorous limiting principle of what they think the essential character of marriage should be. Even though the same-sex marriage battle is far from over, some proponents are already talking about polygamy. What is the next battle after that? Will bisexuals claim that limiting marriage to only two people is unfair because it makes them choose which partner will get the benefits of legal recognition? In the absence of any limiting principle, same-sex marriage advocates respond to innovations like polygamy and polyamory either with outright excitement or else with the defense, “No way, that’s gross!” People used to say the same thing about same-sex couples. Before we redefine marriage, let’s decide what the new definition is actually going to be first.

4. Marriage Is About Love and Commitment

See point two. Marriage is already in rough shape. “Until death do us part,” now has an escape clause, “or one of us decides to hire a lawyer.” The corollary of this argument is that heterosexuals have no right to lecture homosexuals about marriage because so many marriages already end in failure. However, this is a great example of the tu quoque fallacy, because as it happens, same-sex couples are much more likely to have affairs than heterosexuals. See point three, again, what is marriage supposed to be if not an exclusive partnership? It would be great if our laws recognized marriage as a lifetime commitment, but they do not. Redefining marriage to make the institution even weaker is not going to help.

5. Couples that Don’t Have Children Still Get Married

Human Life is Not a Science Experiment

Human Life is Not a Science Experiment

More families than ever are missing a mother or a father. Others, often through no fault of their own, are childless. Some couples who are unable to conceive choose to adopt. Others may dedicate their lives to helping others. Unfortunately, because procreation has become detached from marriage in our culture, there are also couples who wait to have children until it is almost impossible to do so. They then go to incredible efforts to conceive a child through in-vitro fertilization and other techniques which results in the commoditization of life. Instead of bringing life into the world, this leads to the destruction of life at its most delicate and vulnerable. There is already talk in California of making this unethical and immoral practice an entitlement for same-sex couples who are obviously unable to beget children in the usual way. Procreation needs the boundaries of marriage just as much as marriage needs the boundary of procreation. The two are inextricably linked.

The arguments for same-sex marriage sound easy and simple, but they hide difficult and disturbing questions. Heterosexuals have been grappling with marriage for thousands of years and it’s still not easy. It takes a lot of work, a lot of patience, and a lot of sacrifices. It’s impossible to discuss marriage honestly without acknowledging that there are no easy answers and nothing is straightforward. Indeed, this timeless truth reveals the greatest error of the same-sex marriage cause: there can be no such thing as marriage equality because there is no equality in marriage.

Opposites Attract

Opposites Attract

Men and women have different strengths and weakness, different abilities, different fears and different needs. By combining these complementary forces, marriage makes the couple stronger than they would otherwise be on their own. Homosexual couples on the other hand will inevitably have many of the same strengths and weaknesses in common. Instead of making them stronger together, the redefinition of marriage will only amplify their weaknesses, just as it reveals the weakness of the logic behind their arguments. Redefining marriage is fundamentally about eliminating the wonderful and beautiful distinctions between men and women–and especially the greatest difference of all: the ability to perpetuate the human race, and not only through procreation, but in every respect as parents and members of society at large. Pace the old feminist saw about fish and bicycles, men need women and women need men.

This is really what is at stake. Marriage is an essential force in our society because it makes you become a better person. This is only possible because of the encounter between the opposite sexes which reveals how little we know about the human condition and how much we have to trust what we cannot experience and cannot ever know in order to truly love another person. Redefining marriage as a genderless institution robs it of the very essence that makes it worthwhile in the first place. Even if same-sex marriage advocates get their way, little good will it do them.


Categories:Culture Marriage Politics

47 thoughts on “Five Arguments for Gay Marriage

  1. Paige says:

    Homosexual couples can also experience being a better person through marriage. It’s not just heterosexual couples. It does not amplify their weaknesses; it works in the same way as straight marriages. Take a gay couple for example. One man may have the weakness of lying and the other may have the weakness of greed. They can help each other throughout their marriage to overcome those weaknesses and become stronger as individuals and together. I know that males and females are obviously different but we still have most of the same needs: love, affection, company, etc. And as far as abilities, why should it matter to heterosexual people? It’s not their marriage so they shouldn’t worry about it.

  2. Faith Lewis says:

    I don’t see why everybody is making a big deal about same sex marriage. I’m gay and I want to be able to get married one day to a girl. For anybody who says it offends god is stupid. God loves us all. It dissent offend him. We have the right to have the same laws as straight people. But we don’t. It doesn’t affect straight people. And if you think it does your stupid. Us wanting to be happy together has nothing to do with you. And for the people that says a child needs a mother and a father… Well look at all the single moms and dads out their that doesn’t see their other parent. All a child needs is two loving parents.

  3. Kayla says:

    I don’t see what the problem with gay couples and their rights? It’s not an abnormal, you got to face it. It’s going to stay around. Some Heterosexuals like to use the bible to prove their point. Well, you can’t just pick out the pieces you like and ignore the rest. What about the part where it says you can’t divorce your wife? Or to be stoned? What about that Huh? We have divorces all the time and we don’t stone people! Times have changed.

    1. Robert mendez says:

      Actually it say you can divorce your wife if she sexully sins against you( Has an affair ). And Jesus came to bring the ultimate love into the world and he said you must forgive your enemy that no one should die for their sin if they come to him, because he was the ultimate sacrifice. Get your facts straight. Also it is wrong to be gay if you don’t believe in the bible then believe this gays get disease in their body’s for having sexual relationships! Also a recent study showed more than two thirds have been taught to be gay by their social circle. Thats the truth kayla.

      1. Eric Pickard says:

        Do the hundreds of animal species that God created that exhibit homosexual tendencies also get those “diseases”? Also, I’d like to know when you personally learned to become straight, and when you decided you’d not be gay. Personally, I can’t see who WOULDN’T rather be ostracized, hated, and discriminated against, as opposed to living a normal life where people don’t threaten to kill you over and/or berate you into suicide just because the person you love happens to have the same sex chromosomes as you. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Doesn’t that sound like something people do just for the heck of it?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>



Receive our updates via email.