GOD to Obama: NO, I WON’T BLESS PLANNED PARENTHOOD

Disclaimer:  All of the angels and saints quoted below agreed to be interviewed only on the condition of anonymity.  We have honored that request.  To the extent they reveal their own identity by what they say, we consider that not our problem.

obama not happyWow, talk about a rough week for the president.

First, the whole Benghazi cover-up is being dragged more and more into the light each day.  Then the news breaks that the IRS is targeting conservative groups.  Then, to round out the hat trick of scandals, the Justice Department is secretly listening in on the Associated Press.

Benghazi-gate, IRS-gate, AP-gate.  And it’s all hitting at once.  It’s like one big Gate-gate.

Welcome to the summer of hell, Mr. President.

Sensing that something pretty powerful must be behind such a perfect storm of presidential scandal, we bypassed our usual informants within the beltway and went straight to our sources in Heaven.

Sure enough, one high-level saint confirmed immediately what the source of President Obama’s troubles was:

“It all started last week.  We were in a board meeting at the time [yes, there are board meetings even in Heaven - ed.].  It was God, me, James, and John – you know, the usual suspects.  We were going over the purgatory numbers for last quarter and all of a sudden the door bursts open and in flies one of the seraphim.  Or maybe cherubim, I don’t know, hard to tell sometimes.  Anyway, he’s all out of breath and he’s got a look on his face like Nancy Pelosi just tried to quote Aquinas again.  Sheer horror.  So God looks at him like, WHAT?  The angel tells us:

President Obama just said ‘God Bless You’ to Planned Parenthood.

obama pp“At first we were all just dumbstruck.  James starts turning a lovely shade of pomegranate as he stares at the terrified messenger like he’s about to tear his wings off.  John is at a loss for words, just muttering, ‘Holy…holy…holy, holy, holy.’  I don’t even remember what was going through my head.  I don’t recall seeing God leave the room, but he was gone.  He does that.  You’ll have to ask someone else what happened next.”

So we caught up with another resident of Heaven who told us he may or may not have had a small role in what happened next.

“Yeah, as you know, we angels are messengers of God.  Sometimes because of the Annunciation people assume I always bring good news.  But that’s not always the case.  Right now, for example, I’m about to go tell the President of the United States that his summer is about to get really interesting, and not in a good way.  No, I’m not going to appear to him, but I’m gonna make it real clear that he shouldn’t be throwing around “God bless you’s” like that.  I mean seriously, to Planned Parenthood?!  The biggest abortion provider in the United States?  Does he honestly think God would be okay with that?  What does he expect?  It’s like standing up at a KKK gathering and saying, ‘Hey, great job, the Lord gets a real kick when you put those hoods on!,’ or it’s like addressing an SS rally and saying, ‘That’s fantastic, load more of God’s children into the cattle cars - he loves that!’

god“So yeah, now I get to be the messenger who delivers God’s R.S.V.P. to Obama’s little invitation to bless Planned Parenthood.  In short, it’s ‘thanks, but no thanks,’ but it’s … going to hurt a little more than that.  We figured we would start with a few scandals to expose the depth of Obama’s corruption and insatiable will to power.  Just look at history – we do it all the time.  Do I enjoy it?  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t.  And categorically I can’t lie, so…yup, I love the smell of the Righteous Fury of God in the morning!”

So there you have it.  Maybe the president will learn a lesson:  Next time you address an institution of mass murder and ask God to show up, be careful.

He just might.

 

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Categories:Abortion Humor Interview Politics President Obama

14 thoughts on “GOD to Obama: NO, I WON’T BLESS PLANNED PARENTHOOD

  1. Cheryl says:

    Thanks for the chuckle John!

    Bill, you do have a good point. We can’t be complacent about proclaiming the gospel and we lukewarm Christians have much work to do. But that doesn’t stop me from appreciating John’s humorous post.

  2. Cecilia says:

    Great article!!!!! This is the most pro-death President in the History of United States! God has come with fury! After all, Obama used God’s name to bless the biggest holocaust! Bless them for brutally killing millions of innocent, tiny Americans? God will not take this!

  3. Thank you for making me laugh. Much better than crying. Your sense of humor is much appreciated, and I hope you ignore the critics.

  4. Pauline Reynolds says:

    How about sticking to the facts? They speak for themselves. Resist the attempt to emulate the worldly press by using file photos and fiction to underline a point. It is enough to publish the facts in as many ways as are not propaganda.

  5. Bill says:

    It seems to me that the President is just clueless. He doesn’t go out of his way on purpose to offend those of us who believe in the sanctity of life and the right to life. He does go out of the way (of reason) to praise organizations that support him (with public promotion if not with cold cash), and in the process he loses the sense of what he is saying (and of the irony, which he does not apparently understand anyway). It also seems to me that the scenario set in the blog post might also be getting it wrong. It could be that God will not chastise or interfere with PPA or the President, for either (or both) of the following reasons. First, because it is OUR job to deal with the mess WE HUMANS made. Second, God may intend that PPA and the President and the whole secularized world be OUR chastisement for the centuries and decades of doing nothing to proclaim — and live — the Gospel. Maybe a couple of points to dwell on before we get too smug and anticipate God giving the President some lumps for his willful ignorance. We have work to do, people — God’s work. Cute blog posts don’t count for much against that assignment. Let’s be thankful for the opportunity to bear some _meaningful_ witness in the world!

    1. Gerald says:

      Bill, you are spot on ! very nicely written, and to the point.

    2. marybeth adams says:

      Aw, lighten up! Those of us who spend every day in the trenches enjoy a little levity now and then. God’s joy is my strength!

      1. Madeline Keck says:

        One webpage- Catholic Memes. I have a feeling you’d enjoy it.

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