As if we needed any more proof that it’s time to end the silly practice of releasing doves as a symbol of promoting peace, two more poor birds were subjected to a violent assault this weekend in St. Peter’s Square.
The event terrified and needlessly traumatized thousands of innocent children who witnessed it take place.
Let’s recap what happened.
It started off like this:
Okay, so far so good.
Everyone is expecting this:
Or maybe this:
Or, at the very least, this:
Instead we get this:
…why does that crow have its mouth open?
Oh good heavens! This doesn’t look good at all!
This is downright terrifying. Oh, the humanity! What have we done?!
If the doves managed to escape, they’re missing some feathers.
It’s probably a merciful thing that doves can’t scream, otherwise I think we could all imagine the soundtrack that would’ve accompanied this little shop of horrors.
But this isn’t the first time this has happened.
A couple years ago a dove released by Pope Benedict was attacking the exact same fashion:
You can watch a video of the terrified animal trying to flee if you wish:
The news must have spread in the avian community, because the next time around, the doves actually refused to leave the papal apartment and can be seen in this video desperately flying back into the papal residence to avoid being eaten!
So basically, if you have a pair of wings, this is the most terrifying sight in the world:
Look, releasing a pair of doves doesn’t promote peace in the Ukraine.
It’s more like ringing the dinner bell.
Praying for peace actually promotes peace.
So let’s save some doves and let’s stop traumatizing the kids: