Public Service Announcement: MEAT FRIDAY!

Because I am lazy (note how frequently I post) and because I love meat, I am resurrecting a post from the last 2 years.

Also, Pope Francis wants you to eat meat today.  He called me and told me in very broken English to tell everyone at Ca-toh-leak Boat. 

You can follow me on Twitter @MeatFriday.  Don’t be alarmed that barely anyone is following me yet. It’ll be fine.  Seriously.  Just get into my van. 

If you follow me, I promise to tweet funny things.  Enjoy!

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If you’re like me and you hate fish – and seafood, shellfish, anything that tastes anything like fish (no, it doesn’t taste like chicken – stop with that) – then generally Friday’s are sort of miserable.

Looks delicious, doesn’t it?

My Friday diet tends to be composed of pasta, peanut butter and other carbohydrate things that make me fat. And let’s face it, they don’t taste anywhere near as good as meat.

My favorite things to eat are things that once had hooves and talons, not scales and slime. I fantasize about working at a butcher shop and cutting meat with giant knives and bandsaws. One Easter, I had to use a hacksaw to cut through the femur on a leg of pork (yes, I am that manly).

This is probably what Heaven is like.

I must note that I am deeply grateful that our Lord and Savior did not consecrate fish at the Last Supper or I would probably now be a Unitarian.

Luckily for me (and for you), a few glorious Fridays per year are also Solemnities on our Liturgical Calendar. Now as we all know, Solemnities are days of Feasting not Fasting. They are days for celebration and not penance. Being a confirmed fish-hater, I take particular delight in the celebration of these days of Solemnity.

I like to call them “Meat Fridays.” They are those high Holy Days that get me off the hook from abstaining from meat. Aren’t you impressed that I can find a way to make a feast of the Catholic Church all about me? I am a bad Catholic.

Anyway, today, Friday in the Octave of Easter, is happily one of those days. The Solemnity of the Resurrection is so awesome that it lasts for 8 days!

Meat can even make Star Trek appealing.

So, put a thick steak on the grill or fry some bacon.

Feed the fish to a cat and embrace your Catholic identity!

Patrick Thornton has a real job (sort of). He likes eating meat and vegetables flavored with meat. Under the name Archbishop LeGrille, he once wrote about a theology of grilling for which he was labeled a manifest heretic by John White and other dumb friends. The views expressed here may or may not be his own. It depends who’s asking.

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Categories:Humor

15 thoughts on “Public Service Announcement: MEAT FRIDAY!

  1. CATHOLIC MEATAHOLIC says:

    AMEN!

  2. Panda Rosa says:

    Personally I love fish and shellfish, so it would not be a hardship for me. Isn’t alligator listed as “fish”?
    FWIW, I’m a Protestant, but try to stick to fish on Friday out of respect.

  3. Gia says:

    A good reminder that abstinence is really hard for those of us that HATE fish. I can only take a tuna-fish sandwich, otherwise it would be all grilled cheese & PB&J. Carnivores rule!

  4. Jewels says:

    I don’t eat meat Fridays year-round either, but this is a Solemnity! Yay! :)

    http://www.catholic-pages.com/life/fridaymeat.asp

  5. Mike says:

    I don’t eat any meat on any Friday throughout the year.

    1. Steveo says:

      I don’t eat meat on any Friday of the year either! There is supposed to be some small sacrifice made on every Friday of the year anyway so, abstaining from meat is my choice to do that. Is that wrong to do during the octave of Easter, in the sense that I am not celebrating as I should if I do that? I don’t know.

      1. Patrick Thornton says:

        Well, I would say it’s never wrong to make a small sacrifice, even during the Octave of Easter. But today you don’t have to substitute another sacrifice if you do choose to eat meat. Happy Easter!

  6. Birgit J says:

    I am so happy to have run across this post today! Not only did you give me a chuckle, I can also start frying up that bacon that I was going to have to leave off my salad!

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