Rules For Dating My Daughter

Tumblr-Kristine SpeareWhen I saw the buzzy Tumblr photo by Kristine Speare of her dad’s “Rules for Dating My Daughter” t-shirt, something bothered me about it.

I get why it is popular. The dad-joke that says “Sure, date my daughter. I’ll spend the time you’re out cleaning my gun,”  never resonated with me … and always seemed a little insulting. (And I was always glad I didn’t have to deal with that dad.)

But this guy makes a couple of critical errors. First, his “feminism” feels like a cop-out.

     When I saw his t-shirt I immediately wondered: Does he mean this?


Second, his “feminism” looks like sexism in disguise, like her body is a sex object.

      After all, no one would applaud if his t-shirt said this:


I too am a father of daughters … four, actually (and five sons!). So I got to wondering what my t-shirt would say. It would have to be something that respects the whole person, doesn’t just reduce dating to sex, and applies to both partners.

     Maybe this is what my shirt would say …



Categories:Family Feminism Marriage Media

44 thoughts on “Rules For Dating My Daughter

  1. Christie says:

    Fathers or parents naturally are concerned when their daughters start dating. I believe it all comes down to values instilled in them so they are equipped to handle the risks and challenges that come with dating. Prayers and constant communication also help to guide them through the process.

  2. Johnd705 says:

    I truly appreciate this post. I’ve been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You’ve made my day! Thank you again! eekgdakeeddd

  3. Marc says:

    Clearly, this one is over your heads…

  4. Catholic & loving it says:

    Beautiful, Mr. Hoopes! Catholic Father for the win

  5. […] a nod to Tom Hoopes at Catholic, we have a shirt worn by a father who has been neutered by postmodernism and […]

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