1. First of all, before anyone panics, just calm down. Go buy some ammunition, gold, and non-perishable food items. Okay good, now panic.
2. Just kidding.
3. I hate early voting. Not actually doing it (I never have) but the whole concept. I get it that there are senior citizens and such who really need this accommodation, and that’s fine. So let them do it, but just them. It’s like there’s no Election Day anymore, just election month, with the final deadline for stragglers being what we now call “Election Day.” There seems to be a trend too, with campaigns pointing not just to polls but to votes that are already cast in order to project an image of the race and where it stands. Pretty soon the focus of the campaigns and the media will be on the first day of voting (Oct. 1 or Oct. 15 say) rather than the last, and we will see exit polling having a massive impact, early voting increasing greatly because everyone wants their vote to make a difference, and the election being essentially over before we even get to Election Day. Just watch, it’s going to happen.
4. So much for the Redskins losing their last home game before the election. So much for the last however many Nov. 6 elections being won by the Republican. For that matter, so much for the winner of the South Carolina primary becoming the Republican nominee. A lot of those fun little predictors seemed to fail this year. Oh well, I suppose that’s the nature of such things. I remember learning of Tecumseh’s Curse when I was a kid. Apparently William Henry Harrison, who was elected in 1840, did something that upset the Indian chief Tecumseh, so the chief put a curse on him and his successors: every President elected in a year divisible by twenty would die in office. And they did, for a long time. But that streak ended too, with Ronald Reagan.
5. In his second term, Obama will formally announce his administration’s support for gay marriage and refer to it as the civil rights issue of our era. There will be some backlash from black pastors and religious leaders, and the President’s support among blacks will plummet to 98%.
6. Obama will have the opportunity to appoint at least one, and possibly three, new justices to the Supreme Court. Job qualifications: ironclad devotion to Roe v. Wade required, at least one year of law school preferred.
7. Republicans better figure out their problems with the Hispanic vote, or we may not see another president with a little (R) next to his name for a long time. Texas has 34 electoral votes, amigos. The math will start looking downright fatal unless you find a way to convince Hispanics that the Grand Old Fiesta is where it’s at.
8. Based on my statistical model, there’s a 91.3% chance that Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and other Catholic champions of abortion will not have fun at the Final Judgment. I don’t judge, I just crunch the numbers.
9. Thank God for our bishops. I mean that – we should thank God for them. The Catholic bishops of this country, led by Cardinal Dolan, are in my opinion stronger and more committed to truly engaging secular culture with the Truth than they have been since Vatican II. And I fear for them.
10. Thank you, Mitt Romney. You seem a good man, an honorable man, and I think I can safely say that for millions of Americans it was a pleasure to get to know you better.