Worst Idea Ever?! Teenage Girls Trained to Perform Exorcisms

This has to be one of the stupidest idea I’ve come across in a long time. And the UK Daily Mail‘s inept, sensationalist reporting of the story only makes things worse:

‘We’re not like normal teenagers’: Meet the exorcist schoolgirls who spend their time casting out DEMONS around the world

# Brynne Larson, 16, is one of many newly-qualified teenage demon slayers
# Reverend Bob Larson of Spiritual Freedom Churches runs exorcist school
# No set protocol for exorcisms but girls carry a Bible, holy water and a cross

How you can combine the words “qualified”, “teenage”, and “demon slayers” in the same sentence escapes me. I’m hoping the Daily Mail is just having some fun with this.

And that’s precisely the problem, because exorcism isn’t child’s play. It’s deathly serious.

But I can’t force myself to turn away from this train wreck. So here goes:

The five teenage girls might look like they’re in a normal class, eagerly reading their textbooks and answering their teacher’s questions diligently.

But the textbooks are Bibles and the girls all have crosses instead of protractors, as they train to become exorcists – real exorcists who fight demons, curses and evil spells.

‘People do look a bit surprised when I arrive,’ admits graduate exorcist Brynne Larson. ‘When people call for an exorcist, they don’t picture a 16-year-old high school girl.’

NO KIDDING. I’d be concerned too! (I should say this up front – if you think you have a need for an exorcist, call your local diocese ASAP).

But Brynne, from Phoenix, Arizona, is one of a new breed of qualified teenage demon slayers, who answered a call when the Church made the admission of there being a worldwide exorcist shortage.

But despite drastic efforts, supply has still not met demand for the controversial ceremony.

“The Church” of course actually refers to the Catholic Church – i.e., the Church founded by Christ and invested with the spiritual authority to cast out demons in His name. When the Church says we need more exorcists – they weren’t calling for an influx of teenage girls led by an opportunistic protestant:

So if the forces of darkness start getting the upper hand, who should you call? Evangelist Reverend Bob Larson of Spiritual Freedom Churches International – and his remarkable school for exorcists.

‘Think of it more of an exorcist franchise,’ Rev Larson tells MailOnline exclusively.

‘Our phone lines are ringing constantly – we receive up to 1,000 individual requests monthly, and we travel to countries like Africa, Ukraine, England and even Australia.’

‘We have found that our female, teenage exorcists are particularly effective at curing the possessed,’ says Rev Larson, whose daughter Brynne is a supernaturally talented exorcist.

Seriously?

There’s nothing in my understanding of demonic possession and the Church’s exorcism ministry that suggests teenage girls should be sent into circumstances of possible demonic possession or oppression. In fact it seems to invite more harm.

It’s hard for me to even take this all seriously, but the Daily Mail article does stake a claim (sorry, I couldn’t resist) that this phenomenon (I mean of this international protestant exorcism ministry) is real.

Maybe the only way to conclude this — besides praying for the people mentioned in this story and hoping that more people become aware of the Church’s actual exorcism ministry — is to let the Taiwanese news animators have the last word:

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20 thoughts on “Worst Idea Ever?! Teenage Girls Trained to Perform Exorcisms

  1. [...] Worst Idea Ever?! Teenage Girls Trained to Perform Exorcisms (Thomas Peters on Catholic Vote) [...]

  2. Panda Rosa says:

    I’m more thoughtful about the using of TEENAGE GIRLS to perform the exorcisms. These girls are often the biggest drama queens on the planet, the hissy fits, bitch fights, eye-ripping envy driving strong men to cry. Watch the catfights on Maury Povich and then tell me they can’t expel demons with their turbo-powered tongues! Esp if one has made the move on the girl’s boyfriend.
    Okay, time to take the tongue out of my cheek.

  3. davide says:

    Sorry the anti catholic bigot is not paul but that K.nitusko. My bad Paul I screwed up the names

  4. Marie says:

    Not defending the practice. BUT. Can one keep in mind that many Protestants are 1) not likely to consider Catholics to be Christians in the first place and 2) consider any Christian able to take on evil in Jesus’ name and win?

    Let’s not tut-tut (or ridicule) our Protestant brethren’s lack of clarity on the subject while refraining from doing everything possible to educate and evangelize (need I mention LIVE) a sacramental world view, so that folks can even realize what a priest IS!

  5. John Paul Wohlscheid says:

    It sounds to me like Reverend Bob Larson of Spiritual Freedom Churches International (What a name for a church?) watched too many episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Someone need to remind Larson that this show is fiction and has nothing to do with reality. Take a look at Larson’s site. He started his own church to teach his own theology, kind of like L. Ron Hubbard and his Church of Scientology.

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