Because sometimes you just need to stick a fork in it and go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
1. “I just think you would look really good in vestments.”
2. “I’ve been praying about it, and I think God wants you to become a nun.”
3. “I can’t marry someone who only wants eight kids.”
4. “Let’s just be friends, and then we can offer up all the horrible awkwardness for the souls in Purgatory.”
5. “I can’t decide if I love you or hate you – you’re like Notre Dame, but without football.”
6. “Like a deer that longs for running streams, I long for running away from you. Really far away.”
7. “You’re a great guy. You’re just not Mr. Knightley.”
8. “You’re a great guy. You’re just not Jim Caviezel.”
9. “You’re a great guy. You’re just not Eduardo Verista…Vestigeri…that hot guy from Bella.”
10. “I’m sorry – I can’t be with someone who giggles every time they see the word ‘nuptial’.”
11. “The way you eat cereal would be grounds for annulment.”
12. “I’m done with you, and with your spirit.”
13. “My heart and my mind had a conclave, and you lost.”
14. “When you told me you were going on vacation for two weeks, all I heard was ‘Fortnight of Freedom’.”
15. “It’s not you, it’s me…and it’s also this guy Enrique who I met at World Youth Day.”
16. “Whenever God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. You should find that window and jump out.”
17. “Your Old Spice smells like incense, and that’s just a little too weird for me.”
18. “I feel like I’m embracing my cross every time we hug.”
19. “You have to choose between me and your religious jigsaw puzzles.”
20. “You’re dead to me, and may perpetual light shine upon you.”
21. “My parish is having a food drive for kids in Africa. I volunteered to drive the food to Africa, so I might be gone a while.”