God Almost Destroyed the Earth on Wednesday


Apparently God didn’t hear that caring for the environment is now a corporal and spiritual work of mercy.

Because it’s hard to reconcile a sincere desire to “care for our common home” with the blatant and deliberate act of throwing whale-sized chunks of rock at the Earth.

But that’s just what God did on September 7, when a large asteroid zoomed over Antarctica at close range.  According to the report, the asteroid was the size of a “large grey whale” and came within 25,000 miles of the earth’s surface.

I know what you’re thinking – 25,000 miles doesn’t sound very close.  Maybe for you it isn’t.  But compared to the size of outer space, that’s like an inch.  Maybe two inches at the most.  And no, that’s not exact science so don’t quote me on that.

I know what else you’re thinking – what does the freaking color of the whale have to do with anything?  Who cares if the asteroid was the size of a grey whale?  Isn’t that like saying the asteroid was the size of a yellow blimp with orange stripes?  Who cares?  Well, no, it’s not like that.  Grey whale is a species of whale, like a blue whale.  You just need to learn more about whales.  I would suggest Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home as a suitable place to start.

But back to God.  Clearly he needs to go back and read Laudato Si more closely.  Because what almost happened on Wednesday was not, I repeat not funny.  Entire studies have been done on the utter devastation that a whale impact would have on the planet.  Scientists have even predicted what would happen in the first five minutes after a whale crashes into the Earth.  It makes for exciting reading, but it’s not pretty.

So the point?  Shape up.  You may be pretty sure that it’s a mammal and not a fish, but you have no idea when it could hit.

This is what the wrath of God looks like.

This is what the wrath of God looks like.


The views expressed here are those of the author, and do not necessarily represent the views of CatholicVote.org


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John White lives in the Chicago area with his wife and seven children.

1 Comment

  1. Your article would have been OK but you think you understand Pope Francis writingd but you don’t. Not cool to take pot shots at the Pope. It shows your ignorance.

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