I do hope they exorcise the space before the next Mass.


WARNING: Talk of self-abusive sexual activity in this post.


Allegheny College in Meadville, Pennsylvania, affiliated with the United Methodist Church, has a chapel. Mass is offered there weekly for the Catholic students.

Recently it was the site of a seminar titled, “I Heart the Female Orgasm.”

They were not talking about a loving, committed, married couple who has great sex with regularity. No, they’re talking about masturbation.

That self-abusive act that takes the “other” out of sex and makes it a loveless, passionless, solipsistic entertainment.

The Pennsylvania liberal arts college’s Ford Memorial Chapel was transformed into a “boudoir of sorts” on Wednesday as sex educators Marshall Miller and Kate Weinberg advised students how to best touch themselves and others to reach orgasm, The College Fix reports.

The college’s chaplain, meanwhile, defended the event’s location, characterizing it as “responsible.” A campus spokesperson said the event offered a “great message,” according to The College Fix.

A great message? Dear Lord, spare us. Masturbation turns one in on oneself, makes others nothing more than objects of fantasy and denies their real personhood, turns one’s own sexuality into an object of pleasure rather than a gift to give to a spouse, coarsens one in real relationships, rejects the unitive nature of sex, and becomes addictive.

If you are Catholic you reject masturbation as a grave offense against the gift of sexuality (CCC 2352), one of the greatest gifts given us by God, to enflesh the union of the spouses in Holy Matrimony and bring forth new life.

(The New Catholic Encyclopedia has a great article on the Church’s understanding of masturbation, the considerations of full consent of will, critiques of the Church’s position, and more, for those who are seeing red.)

Allegheny College’s website boasts (I am not making this up),

Allegheny is a unique place where students embrace the College’s total educational experience.  Our students have the uncanny ability to create unusual combinations of interests and talents.  These varied combinations enhance our students’ success here and ensure excellence in their future careers.

I’m not entirely certain where a self-abuse seminar fits into that unless they’re training porn stars.

But an important question at this point is whether the local Catholic pastor will allow Mass to happen in that chapel until an exorcism happens. This sort of seminar involves so much deception and evil influence that the space, not a truly sacred space to begin with, has been defiled.

Heck work it in before Mass begins, use the Latin rite, and if anyone asks just say it’s a variation on the opening of Mass—an extended and special Asperges.

And make sure you’ve got one of these:

St. Benedict Medal Cross

The St. Benedict Medal. It has an exorcism prayer right on it, in the initials "V R S N S M V - S M Q L I V B," which signify a Latin phrase that translates to: "Begone Satan! Never tempt me with your vanities! What you offer me is evil. Drink the poison yourself"

The views expressed here are those of the author, and do not necessarily represent the views of CatholicVote.org


About Author

Tom Crowe is a cradle Catholic with a deep love for and commitment to Holy Mother the Church, colored by a rather interesting life-long relationship with her. Born during the great liturgical upheaval of the 1970s, Crowe was brought up in a parish that continued using the Missal of 1962—the Traditional Latin Mass—for which he developed a love. Crowe learned the faith as a child from the Baltimore Catechism, and didn’t stop learning and wrestling with the Church’s teachings at his Confirmation. Through reading and many conversations with friends and converts far smarter than he, Crowe came to know, accept, and love the Church and what she proposes far more intimately. For three years these conversation took place in seminary before Crowe, with the blessing of the formation team, determined that seminary was not right for him. In the wild and humorous ways of God, Crowe landed on his feet in Steubenville, Ohio, where he manages the online presence for Franciscan University of Steubenville, where he also trains altar servers and is the head master of ceremonies for the Mass in the Extraordinary Form on campus.

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