“If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married!”


… at least, that’s how simple so many advocates of gay “marriage” make it seem. Have you heard that line before? It’s been practically a tagline for some of the commenters around here.

But it isn’t that simple. Marriage is a fundamental institution to society. The recognition and celebration of a marriage has ramifications for the individuals’ families, any children, employers, the businesses involved, and beyond.

Like cake makers who retain a conscientious opposition to the practice.

GRESHAM, Ore. (AP) — The state attorney general’s office is investigating a consumer complaint filed against a Gresham bakery that declined to make a cake for a same-sex wedding.

The Oregonian and KATU report that Laurel Bowman wrote the complaint against Sweet Cakes By Melissa after she and her fiancée went to the bakery Jan. 17.

In her complaint, Bowman said the owner refused to make the cake when he learned it was for a same-sex wedding and called the couple “abominations unto the lord.”

Bakery owner Aaron Klein told The Oregonian he sells cakes to customers of all sexual orientations, but same-sex marriage goes against his Christian faith.

He denies calling the couple “abominations.”

The attorney general’s office is waiting for Sweet Cakes’ official account before deciding whether to take action.

The “abominations” comment most likely was Klein saying gay “marriage” is an abomination unto the Lord, and not the ones who pursue it, but that distinction between the action and the person who partakes in the action is frequently lost on the willfully aggrieved.

“If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married.”

The couple could have observed this axiom, left alone the cake maker whose is conscientiously opposed to gay marriage, and taken their business elsewhere. They did not do that. Instead they decided to report the actions of the cake maker simply for disagreeing with their view of marriage.

Truth is, “If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married,” is not the guiding principle of the gay marriage movement. That guiding principle is to force everyone to accept gay “marriages” as exactly the same thing as actual marriages in every way.

And frankly, once marriage, sex, and procreation are untethered from one another, they have a point. Tough to insist on marriage-before-sex-which-must-be-open-to-children when the underlying anthropology and theology that explain why are ignored and so many who oppose same-sex “marriage” have no problem with contracepted sex within marriage.

But be that as it may, that does not mean anyone deserves to be discriminated against; nor does it mean marriage can or should be redefined by governmental fiat.

These are not contradictory statements.

Just today a prelate at the Vatican called for greater protection of homosexual persons, noting in particular those who identify as a couple. As Deacon Greg Kandra notes:

Archbishop PagliaA high-ranking Vatican official on Monday (Feb. 4) voiced support for giving unmarried couples some kind of legal protection even as he reaffirmed the Catholic Church’s opposition to same-sex marriage.

Archbishop Vincenzo Paglia, head of the Pontifical Council for the Family, also said the church should do more to protect gays and lesbians from discrimination in countries where homosexuality is illegal.

In his first Vatican press conference since his appointment as the Catholic Church’s “minister” for family, Paglia conceded that there are several kinds of “cohabitation forms that do not constitute a family,” and that their number is growing.

Paglia suggested that nations could find “private law solutions” to help individuals who live in non-matrimonial relations, “to prevent injustice and make their life easier.”

Nevertheless, Paglia was adamant in reaffirming society’s duty to preserve the unique value of marriage.

“The church must defend the truth, and the truth is that a marriage is only between a man and a woman,” he said. Other kinds of “affections” cannot be the foundation for a “public structure” such as marriage.

“We cannot surrender to a sick egalitarianism that abolishes every difference,” he warned, and run the risk of society becoming a new “Babel.”

All emphases mine.

All protections due to all persons, plus some method of recognizing in contract law a relationship or agreement between two persons regardless of gender.

But we do no one any favors by calling up, “down;” black, “white;” or same-sex couples, “married,” with all rights and expectations appertaining thereto.

The reason? One major reason is the rights children have vis-a-vis their parents.

The family unit, that fundamental unit of society, is, in its essentials, a mother, a father, and the children they produce in their committed, loving relationship. Circumstances beyond our control can alter families in various ways—infertility, illness, death—but intentionally messing with the essentials of the family unit to satisfy the wants of a few people tears away at the fabric of society.

They say, “if you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get gay married,” but it really isn’t that simple.

The views expressed here are those of the author, and do not necessarily represent the views of CatholicVote.org


About Author

Tom Crowe is a cradle Catholic with a deep love for and commitment to Holy Mother the Church, colored by a rather interesting life-long relationship with her. Born during the great liturgical upheaval of the 1970s, Crowe was brought up in a parish that continued using the Missal of 1962—the Traditional Latin Mass—for which he developed a love. Crowe learned the faith as a child from the Baltimore Catechism, and didn’t stop learning and wrestling with the Church’s teachings at his Confirmation. Through reading and many conversations with friends and converts far smarter than he, Crowe came to know, accept, and love the Church and what she proposes far more intimately. For three years these conversation took place in seminary before Crowe, with the blessing of the formation team, determined that seminary was not right for him. In the wild and humorous ways of God, Crowe landed on his feet in Steubenville, Ohio, where he manages the online presence for Franciscan University of Steubenville, where he also trains altar servers and is the head master of ceremonies for the Mass in the Extraordinary Form on campus.

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